After 15 weeks of 2–4 hour naps a day, at least 2 all-nighters a week, 6 class projects, 6 projects at my internship and and assisting the professor in teaching the introductory upper division courses, I am in bed and unable to make it to my final day in class (excluding final campaign presentations next week). All that hard, all that work, and I couldn’t run the last lap.
I think I did a decent job this semester managing time and projects. In spite of that, my expectations of quality have declined a bit. Not too much where each piece looks like the other end of a baboon, but I bitch about how it could have been better more than I normally do. I know, i know. given the circumstances blah blah blah. But I really do push myself to become a great designer. I’ve been pretty hardcore all semester but finishing out this last day in this condition would have been murder.
All the while, my family and I were faced with another death this year. Not a day goes by where I replay moments in my head where I was just hanging out with Uncle Raymond or thinking about how family parties used to be before we got too grown up. “Life happens.” I agree; It does. It happened a lot this year, let alone this semester. But I kept truckin’. Kate commented that I freaked out too much this semester. I think it’s fairly justified.
I fell short of my own expectations but that doesn’t mean I didn’t hold mine down. It sucks being in an environment where people have the wrong attitude in design. They’re close-minded, non-supportive, unable to suspend judgement, and don’t strive to actually learn. One more semester and I am out of this joint.