Since switching healthcare plans from my mom’s to the one with the university, things like ADHD don’t quite transfer. I decided I want to take some medication to allow me to focus because I’ve been having frequent fits about little things that frustrate me this semester. Basically the essence of Jeffrey is finally starting to kick my ass and I don’t have much time to allow my natural state to adapt to how long it takes for “normal” people to accomplish things. And because there’s a bunch of moron college students who seek these meds for abuse, I have to jump through loops. To make matters worst, I had to answer some ridiculous questions and write an essay. Screw proofreading. Here it is.
A simple pleasure that makes life worth living is being inspired. I love to create and I love ideas that weave in and out of my subconscious from past experiences that lead to these awesome ideas that I would love to pursue. I never know whether or not it’s a crummy idea I attempt it or record it in my journal. Rather than letting ideas flow around and never catching them, I sketch and write these ideas down so I can get to them another time. Chances are I am too busy to ever pursue it but they progress and evolve into new ideas. I find significance in this through being an active thinker and these thoughts and ideas I have that I don’t pursue, but record, they’re all a buildup to more ideas I can pursue when the situation permits. In a way, it’s like having thoughts and ideas on standby that I can apply to any upcoming circumstances and situations.
It wasn’t until I started taking graphic design classes that allowed me to focus. I had extremely high interests in this subject and that interests evolved into ambition and it is constantly increasing. Since graduating high school, I’ve been taking graphic design classes to achieve acceptance into a state university. Graphic design was a home for restless thoughts and a constant flow of ideas because there is always a problem to solve whether it is purely visual or I am sequencing a narrative to best communicate a message and applying that concept into a visual experience.
Because my passion in this visually creative pursuit, non graphic design classes are much more tolerable for me because. I’ve had my best ideas in non graphic design class. That is probably the only value I find in lecture classes, because they motivate me to think—sure, they’re not entirely relevant the lecture material, but it’s a situation I get productive thinking accomplished. It’s ambience. However, there are a few classes that managed to keep me interested and those classes involved stimulating discussions. This might occur only once or twice a month but it gave me something to look forward to when the lecturer digresses and talks about something that interests me.
By taking graphic design classes which fit my constant seeking of new and innovative thoughts, taking GE classes have become less of a mentally aggravating experience because I sought an ulterior motive. To address the question of my worst experiences of classes I have taken, without a doubt it is any math class I’ve taken. No matter how hard I tried it never clicked. I repeated basic algebra several times. It’s also a torturing experience when on is forced to focus on such a linear path of thinking. When math and I clicked, which are rare occasions, it’s because my mind sat still for that moment. There is no shade of gray with me—just extremes. I’m either frantically playing with ideas in my head or spacing out. I can’t think still and sit still. When I do, it’s because I found some sort of way to distract myself from thinking about what it is that’s bothering me.
Because this is an everyday occurrence for me, this has changed my life by finding alternatives to the moments I don’t like. I get easily frustrated when there is no other way about going things. Similarly, that’s how math was. There was no other way to figure out the solution, just this one systematic approach to solving an equation. There is no harmony to a linear path of thinking because there is only one note playing.