jeffrey + upstairsloft

I got a hot date tonight. Sushi, Harry Potter after only seeing it once for the premiere and the long-awaited, beautiful Ms. Catherine Reyes. Yep. Three times in a week. I get to play dress-up—xmas eve, xmas and tonight. That’s a Jeffrey world record. And the cool thing, something graphic design has taught me, rearranging the same clothes to create a different outfit—that’s right, variations. Nerd.

And Stendig calendars for $15 is awesome. Sold out everywhere online unless you wanna pay 54.27 for one. I’m glad I waited it out. sfMOMA found 8 in the back. They thought they were sold out for over a month.

What am I? Chemically imbalanced? So many small things are bugging the hell out of me. I gave my Stendig calendar away as a gift from me and a few friends from school, all of them but one paid back. I should have ordered another one earlier this month but I didn’t collect all the funds; now it’s sold out pretty much anywhere online. SFMOMA won’t call me back. I’m willing to drive.

Then there’s my stupid wisdom teeth extraction that I do not anticipate at all, not to mention the increased risk of nerve damage. Nothing like that every goes smoothly for me. Earlier this January, my damn extration took 4.5 hours for the two tops.

Then there’s finanical issues. My mind and spirits aren’t in harmony, which is a clever way of saying I am chemically imbalanced. I bitch too much. I wish it were night 20 out of 24 hours of the day. I’m more at peace at night. Or at least be dark and cloudy; I love cloudy weather. I only need sunny weather 1 month out of the year—seriously.

After several of years without any communication and sloppy closures, my ex and I had dinner yesterday. We nearly chopped each others heads off. She propped herself on the table and tried to somesault kick me. I dodged her attack and sustained her from harming me. Then she took out a hidden knife from her boots and swung ot behind her, over her shoulders. She cut me.

Shocked by the laceration on my face, I fell back. She took these claws out of her purse, screwed it onto her wrist—something that looked much like a bear claw. She struck and scathed the surface of my chest. I summoned the powers of the Flying Libra and she was taken out.

Actually, that’s how I imagined it to be. It was quite civilized. It felt a bit formal. Well, anything beyond my natural behavior is probably classified as too formal, in Jeff context. I tried not to lounge too much. She ordered champange; I ordered peach ice tea. I’m immature as fuck. She was pretty sophisticated. But then again, I guess that’s how it’s always been. It went smoothly. I can’t complain. She did pay for my food. I can’t say I don’t feel awkward about that; I’m crap at accepting gifts unless it were Kate, Jun or Paul or something. So yeah. That’s something I don’t do everyday.

I lack the ability to do things in the long-term. When I have semester-long projects to work on, I work on each project .5-1 hour at a time and rotate between then. Now that I have a million and a half hours to relax, I don’t know how to take it on. I spent the whole day re-working parts of my website, drinking cups of tea, playing a few games of pool, watching a couple of DVDs and wandering around my parents’ Sacramento house. I haven’t stepped outdoors.Sounds great doesn’t it?

Well I don’t handle this well. I want to do something more productive than this. It’s not torture, exactly, but I do feel a bit trapped. With Kate in Chicago and Jun in Vegas and me being in Sacramento, there really isn’t much to do. I know. I know. A truly creative person would think of something to do and I have been doing things. I still refrain from turning on the tube, and instead I listen to countless hours of music—letting it repeat in the background.

I guess I really can’t complain. I’m just bored. All my resources are really at mine and Kate’s place—my books, electronics, guitar, bicycle and a more established neighborhood. I feel 15 again, sitting around the house as my dad cleans, my mom cooks and while Kyle plays video games. It’s pretty notslagic, I just don’t want to get comfortable with this. I need projects. Projects. Productivity. Progress. Pro. Pro is a good word.

I was half asleep daydreaming about working at Best By again. I was selling; I was good; I was respectable, not greasy and friendly. I was honest and I was still satisfying Best Buy’s selling strategy. I woke up with this impulse to get a job. I think if I worked at Best Buy again i would be less disgruntled as compared to before. I have more patience and I actually matured a lot in the last two years.

Then I was reminded of how much work I dedicate myself to doing and it all came crashing down. I know how to save now. I was 18, making over $10 an hour. Every year I was given a generous raise. Finances were comfortable. But I didn’t know how to save so a savings was out of the question. Now everything is uncomfortable—finances, homework, friendships and making slight adjustments to my attitude so the whole world doesn’t think of me as some prick. Yeah. I still have a lot on my plate to eat. And with the spontaneity of the human brain, I don’t think I’d be able to handle the selling environment anymore. I’m rude, impatient, sarcastic, pushy and standoffish.

Yep. That’s me. Wake up with a dream and tear it apart with reality. I’m fickle.

Kate is the awesomest person in the world and if you don’t appreciate her, you should eat jellybeans with mice turd in them. She’s getting everybody together and nobody cares. Swoop hair to the left right, just below the brow. Queue emo song now. * *

Posted a a couple of pics in Lomographs. These were taken with the Nikon FE.

The semester has officially ended for me, though I haven’t had much work to do for a week now. I finished off pretty strongly but I finished off in a negative light in some respects. That often happens with people and high doses of over-compulsiveness and a hint of goody two shoes syndrome. I can take the heat, this isn’t the first time. It’s kinda like high school. Yeah, actually, it is high school—4.5 years out. And to solve that problem 4.5 years ago I detached myself from the problem. That’s something my best friend and I learned to do and something that works well. I need to be more human; I’m a better human away from the childish ones.

It takes a couple of days to put life back in order, to get thing back into perspective. It took a couple of days to step back and look at what I am doing from a distance— at my life and what I’m doing. Now that I feel incubated I’m ready to return. I’m ready for work. Sadly I must wait almost a month and a half to work again. Fortunately I lined up a few projects for myself that serve as a placeholder for time away from school and countless hours of vigorous work. It also serves as a real world application of the lessons learned.

Kate and I will brand a carehome for patients with Alzheimers. Rob and I plan on getting a site launced for our design cohort. I want to ride BART for $2.50 for the whole day and just let whatever thoughts happen. Learn about Einstein. Add a bio to my site. I don’t know, whatever keeps me busy. I don’t want to sit down, stale, slothed, unlearned and rot my brains away to thinking too much about what I am going to do. This break, I will just do.

It certainly doesn’t help knowing that I must complete my wisdom tooth extraction in January before I turn 23 in May—insurance stuff. After this past January’s 4.5 hour procedure of my two upper wisdom teeth, I am scarred. Plus, bottoms make you look chipmunky. I have bad luck with medical procedures; nothing goes simply and smoothly when sometimes it’sjust a 1-2-3 procedure.

I’m so much more at ease working late when the pressure is off. Sure I have major deadlines on Wednesday, but compared to the research, brainstorm, design and preparation it took to complete Monday’s presentation this should be a cinch. I’m just chillin. Life is grand. All I needed was an uninterrupted nap and no waking in a rush of panic to complete only a phase in a project. Winter is going to be funductive. Prodcutively fun.

Biggest weight lifted off my shoulders. Presentation is in 7 hours. But all the designs, process manual compilation all of it is pretty much finito. I’m only half done with all the work I need to do by Wednesday but this one project was half that weight. Finals don’t conclude for another two weeks but after Wednesday—R&R.

The same guy who complains about winter and summer breaks is now exciting for break. That’s how much work was imposed on us and 90% of it was away from the computer. Graphic Design isn’t all photoshop filters and drawing powerpuff girls in Illustrator. It’s planning. If you think otherwise, please take the liberty to shoot yourself in the thigh. Happy Holidays. I’m feeling that Christmas cheer.