jeffrey + upstairsloft

I’m stuck. I know I am learning but I am stuck. I don’t feel the process of learning. I think it’s one of those slow and painful processes that you learn from but you don’t relize you have learned from it until it’s over. Sadly, this semester is long from over. I did nothing but homework for the past two weekends and it doesn’t feel like muich was accomplished. Why? Because nothing was accomplished. I’m buried in such a workload that I don’t think I am learning

This is what I wished for. I anticipated this for 2.5 years and now it’s breaking me down. Is there such a thing as knowledge overdose? I don’t feel like much of what I am learning is absorbing. I’ve never felt so vulnerable because of work. “Graphic design is all fun and all you do is draw. I have to write 1,000 word essays every week.” Eat raw shellfish, scum buckets.

If Kate did her homework, it would help me so much more. Self motivation is a bitch. When I see her not doing homework, it makes it harder for me to do homework. Shows how much of a leader I am. Wimp. We’re obviously not a design dynamo.

With that said, I’d like to reserve Fridays for get-togethers–a design studio/workshop sorta event where we just work on the plentiful amount of assignments that were given to us. Peer critques, motivation, avoiding design block. It would help me out and I hope it would help other people out.

I’m also setting some personal guidelines. I won’t allow myself to sleep in unless I deserve a full 8 hours of sleep from the hard work I accomplished during the week. If I don’t have bags under my eyes, I’m being lazy. The next two years need to be a full on immersion of nothing else but design studies, application and execution. I’m never going to be great until my sweat starts pouring out of my pores as typeforms. It’s that f_cking serious.

Kate’s iPod Nano came in. Apple redeeems itself on the packaging. It went sour for a while. I thin my iPod case was the last best configuration, which was before they stop not inluding everything. As you know, the iPods only comes with a damn USB cable now. But the Nano’s packaging is just splendid. 10 pts.

Kate is serious about getting ready for the Harry Potter premiere. As for me, I am seriously debating whether or not to order that dementor costume and just dress as Cho Chang. I’d think it’ll be funny as hell if I came through with that, and didn’t shave my legs. Jun can be Cedric Diggory. Haha.

It’s one thing when your teacher is beating you up with her brilliance, but I am beating my self up for shittiness. Me and symbols/logos… my process is cool up until it gets to the sketches. 99.9% of my class kicks my ass. Their sketches all rock, even the guy who cuts his project a few minutes before the final project is due [on the computer lab table without a cutting mat!] Somebody hold a fist out while I run into it.

In response to Kate’s blog:
Word.

Gwen is that force that pushes you higher and higher when you think you are high enough for that moment. For instance, I feel content; I feel happy with my progress and my ability to manage my time to complete what’s not due just quite yet. If I hold anything off, I will be off course for miles. Come tomorrow, I will feel quite satisfied with my work and progress but the moment I sit down and she lectures, I will feel unachieved, beaten and weak. But I will come out of this semester the strongest I have ever felt because this upper division stuff is no f_cking around, Gwen or Mario. Balancing the workload given off from typography and visual principles is a hell of a lot of work, thinking, brainstorming, thinking, thinking, thinking and thinking but it’s fun.

Type is fun. Type type type. Anyhow, I intended to go to SF to take pics of type. There were major Bay Bridge delays so Kate and I exxed that out and pulled exited for Oakland.

I took several pictures, handed out change to the homeless and had damn good coffee at Tully’s Cafe. Kate and I decided to go downstairs, take BART to SF and 10 minutes later, there we were, in the Financial District, taking pics of type. Headed back to Oakland. Ate at Bay St. in Emeryville, shopped at Dickblicks in Berkeley.

Back in lame ol’ Sac and just my luck, the machines were down at Wal-Mart (they were fine yesterday when I picked up three other sets of pics…jerks). Anyhow, I highly anticpiated my photographer-on-crack pictures to be developed but damn that machine. I got 5 sets of film to develop, a deadline on Monday and a load of homework to complete. I hate when I am too tired to think but too much in thought to sleep. If that makes any sense.

Design a logo of a circle that is spinning. Easy huh? F_ck you.

Kate couldn’t have said it any better. It’s like we work an eight-hour shift and we bring our work home. By the time I get back from school, I’m exhausted and I don’t have much time to recharge before I get working. By the time it’s 11pm, I’m too much into the project but I can’t continue any further–clean up, reorganize, prepare materials and notes for the following day and get ready to sleep. I’m pretty much forcing myself to sleep by this time so waking up at 6am doesn’t seem too much like torture.

It’s those stupid classes the system makes you take that gets you, and those stupid hour breaks between class and the stupid drive through downtown. Other than that, it’s just great–exhasuting, but great.