jeffrey + upstairsloft

I know I cannot possibly get an A in sociology. I lost hope in that. But that
won’t stop me. It’s a matter of balance. See, I’m reading the chapters,
comprehending the information and making sense of it but I probably don’t retain
much of that information. Some of it is common sense but I don’t push myself to
any further; yet it’s limiting and yes I’m enjoying the class but I won’t make
it any further than that. I can’t vision putting too much time into the
‘classroom’ part of Sociology. I’ll read and do the assignments and participate
in class but that’s pretty much it. I can’t give my all to a class that is only
benefiting my damn GE requirement. But… I admit that this class is definitely
beneficial and inspiring. But then again, when did that ever matter when it
comes to grades?

On the other hand, much of my time will be dedicated to my Visualization class.
It seems like an easy class; well, it is an easy class but it is time-consuming
and the students can pretty much get as much as they put into that class.
Getting an ‘A’ is probably no biggie but I have failed myself if I didn’t push
myself above and beyond that boundary. I’ll probably leave Sacramento State with
a handful of people wishing to throw tomatoes at the back of my head at
graduation because I take it way too seriously; but I like it like that.

When she was asked why she was in Graphic Design, she said, "I wanted to try it,
it seemed fun and it doesn’t involve math." I cringed. She made it through a
semester worth of work but will that be enough drive to get into the crazy,
rip-your-brain apart aspect of graphic design? I think my ambition is too much
for people to fathom that I come across being cocky and arrogant. I’m just as
insecure about my abilities as the next person; I just have high expectations
that I want to achieve and I don’t want to bullshit my way
through this course.

3:23am. Just finished Da Vinci Code. Awesome book. Within a month…I read over 1,000 pages worth of 2 novels. Proud? Damn straight I am. BTW? Where the hell is Jun? I thought he was just gonna drop by her house.

I romantically gazed at Kate while she was eating a sandwich and she didn’t
know. She looked up 2 minutes later and said, "We need to buy Ziplock bags of
various sizes." I thought to myself, "I have got to marry this woman."

Kate and I were driving back to the house from running errands at school and we
saw a guy carrying a basketball, walking along the sidewalk. I told Kate, "I
used to ball with him." It’s true. Remember when I got those horrid foot
blisters? I sounded so pimp. "I used to ball with him."

iPods Make You Wet
It wasn’t until last week that I confirmed my suspicion about this little iPod cult roaming around the land–malls, streets, bus stops, you name it, any public place. And this is just Milpitas and San Jose, not New York, not London. No..Milpitas and San Jose.
Yes.

Anyhow, when I was at Valley Fair in December, another person with an iPod
was waiting for somebody in a store and he had the status-white earphones trailing
towards his ears; he gave me this glance like, “Yeahhh baby. What’s up? iPod in the hizzouse.” I nudged my brother (yes. he is also
guilty of owning one. a mini), and I pointed out that this guy is like giving me some sort of look like we are brothers in the Priory of Sion or something. Then we walked off and
laughed about it. Don’t get me wrong. The iPod is a wonderful piece of
equipment–by far the best portable digital music player I ever owned and I went
through quite a handful of them since my junior year. Duong and Christie might
recall "Mr. Rio."

During my adventurous trips to the mall with family and with Jun during
Christmas break, I’ve encountered more than similar situations. Apparently, it
is a status symbol. What a shame. Go figure. A great music player and a sexy
design (yes, I admit, Apple has a hell of a design team)…well a great music
player and a sexy design is going to attract, both, avid music-listeners and
people inclined to wrap their iPods in Kate Spade leather cases. Who knew those
silhouettes in front of a vivid color backdrop can contribute such sales for
Apple.

Point is…If you plan on getting a digital music player, consider your options.
Personally, the iPod is my best choice. I don’t care for the radio and recording
options that other models offer. Plus, Apple has an effective design team,
packaging, branding and industrial design; and I cannot help but to take that
into consideration. Haha. But don’t be like the yuppie guys who stared at me
like I was some hot, fresh piece of pootang because I had the white earphones.
Plus, those status-white earphones do beat those 9.99 Sony earbuds with the
L-shaped arm.

It’s a great piece of equipment, not a status symbol. Flaunting them gets played
off like showing your tongue pierce to every passerby who crosses your path.

Apple has definitely his the masses and it will continue to do so, I mean,
look what’s going to happen starting Saturday with the mass release of the iPod
shuffles and the Mac Minis. Haha. Apple snobs have got to hate this. I think
it’s humorous.

If I lived a bachelor life, I would be a straight makeup artist. I’d meet tons of chicks. Kate agrees. Plus, I’d have the power to beautify and de-beautify women. Haha. That sounds horrible. SO! Women are weird…they wear makeup on their hands. Why? Why do brushes cost $42? Why does a teaspoon of eye shadow cost $13? Do you know how many guitar pedals I can buy with the amount of money women spend on makeup? Women are weird.

O yeah…so my girlfriend…Kate, she turned into this woman chick. She wears makeup sometimes and she even shops for the good stuff. So, yeah, I told her to get this bronze stuff so it will create and undertone and enhance the glow of her skin, accentuating her cheekbones. What the hell did I just say? Makeup…brushes…god…what a culture shock. Women spend tons of time looking at makeup. But well, I had fun spending tons of time looking at Apples. It was a fair trade.

I met a girl. We became friends. Her name is Sara. We design. She’s uPstairsattic now. Sara is coming soon. Watch out. She might actually post stuff, unlike ahem…other people I know. sara.upstairsattic.com

Only been back for 30 hours and already the stress factor is substantially climbing. Funny part is… school hasn’t begun. It’s the damn finances. Bills. Absent of bills. That makes bills worse. Calculating where my spending money went when really the big purchaes I made for myself was my iPod upgrade for about 50 bucks. But where did it all go? DAMMIT!!! Sacramento is turning into a harvest of evil. And it’s not her fault. Damn adulthood. I’m still just a kid!

What’s this thing about the US stopping their search for weapons of mass destruction? That one president of ours needs to stop reading… wait, let me rephrase that. The president needs to stop having sci-fi novels read and explained to him. (haha. I don’t think Bush can read…) We must look stupid to the rest of the world. I mean, who wears green eye shadow with a black blouse?

I swear to God I was sleepy when I last posted. I was grumpy. Haha. People should not preach the word of God to me when I’m walking around, listening to music, and then cursing me for ignoring them. As fun as it was, it still irritated the hell out of me. I don’t want to go to hell! Wahhh! Wahhh!

Was Jesus a Woman?
For the most part, in a vague respect, I am for free will. Believe whatever
religion you want, fabricated or not, make your own up. It’s nothing foreign to
us. It’s like giving yourself a new years resolution. They are like a set of
guidelines to live by. Want to lose weight by spring break? Tell yourself to cut
down on the sugar, the fat or whatever it is. Set a goal. What? 15 lbs?

Religion gives us reason to believe that we can achieve whatever it is we wish
to achieve, whether it is relieve us from sin, we’re asking for forgiveness,
we’re praying, or trying to enter into heaven or looking for peace. You name it.
If you believe that sex is evil, so be it. I’m not hear to tell you otherwise.
If you believe prayer and asking for forgiveness will relieve you of any sin, so
be it. There is no right or wrong, as cliche as it sounds. However, and that is
a big fat fucking however. And I should really just ignore it, but, I’m stubborn
and pig-headed.

I absolutely hate when people tell me what to believe and they hold
themselves in such high regard like they are some messenger of God and they are
all-knowing or more-knowing than I am and they are trying to educate me.
Yes, educate me with "facts?" More like educating me with stories that are
pieces and dissections of other religions. I want to blowdry their hair while
they’re taking baths. Throughout history kings, storytellers and messengers have
delivered their interpretations of The Way to live, the way to gain acceptance
into heaven. I bet, somehow, along that lengthy path of passing down stories and
interpretations, it has dramatically changed. Do you really believe there is
truth to the presentations that these all-knowing, "God Will Save You" advocates
preach? Is sex an act of the devil? Who the hell knows. Show me proof. Ok, so
yeah it’s written in a book. Books are just another way to pass down spoken
word, just written into history.

There is so much truth to be discovered regarding religion. Sure, I’d like to be
informed of the truth. Or do I?

I’m Catholic. As much as I deny it to myself, as much as I choose not to believe
most of it, I am Catholic. I was baptized. I was confirmed. Hell, I eat "Jesus’s
body." Yes, I am Catholic. And that religion itself is so controversial. There
is so much potential for truth to be discovered if we can uncover whatever the
hell it is that needs to be uncovered to shed truth. But what if the truth
uncovers unknown contradictions to the beliefs we practice? We’d be lost souls.
We’d have no cause. We’d live with no direction. We’ve live in mayhem.

We are all lost souls and people like me wish to be informed of the truth
because it may shed some more light, but in the end, if all truth is discovered,
facts are revealed and we remove all fabrications from religion, then we will,
forever, be stuck in the darkness. We would be less than lost souls. We’d just
be lost. Because somehow truth may lead us to believe that souls don’t exist.
There wouldn’t be anymore mystery.

Choose your version of truth. Keep yourself at peace. It would be pretty cool if
we can just keep it to ourselves but, everybody’s got to be a preacher. Hell,
let’s have warfare between Methodists and Catholics. INCs and Protestants.

Science, documents claiming that Jesus is a woman, or Buddha was born from a
cocoon or Zeus is the devil, let’s just burn it and live in mystery. Let’s not
try to figure everything out. Well, find truth in yourself I guess. I believe in
stuff, most of the stuff I believe are primarily from self-discovered or beliefs
that just makes sense to me, not because my CCD teacher told me, not because my
parents or grandparents told me. It’s because of all the stories I’ve been told,
I make sense of it all and it only applies to me. Had I been some selfish King,
I would condemn your gods and make you believe what I believe, because, my truth
is better. Document that. 4000 years later, it’ll be in the history books. It
will the post-modern testament of Jeffilus Zeuacrates.

We need direction, just not so literally. You know?