Suicide "Attempts"
>>>emphasis
on "attempts" w/ a bit of facetiousness [or not]
It’s a real go-getter, an attention grabber and all the people who seem lonely
and depressed were accepted for it.
She says, "Hey! Look!" as she rolls up her cardigan sleeve. He replies,
"What the fuck did you do?" She goes, "Huh? Nothing!" and tries to
veer around the topic after showing the marks she left on herself. What
better way to attract attention for yourself than a few chicken-scratches on the
wrist? If a tree falls in a forest and no creature is present to
hear, see or feel it, does it make a noise? If she slices her wrist
without any witnesses does anybody know? No. She’s found soaked in
her thinned blood in her bathtub.
Attempted suicide isn’t a reason for glorification. It’s a masqueraded escape.
It’s not even a beg for attention. It’s a childish way to get somebody to
take notice, but with that "psycho," teen movie, pre-adult, twist. Some argue
that suicide itself is a cheap escape to fulfill some sort of goal, an escape from misery or the
often mentioned "ridding myself from anxiety be one with God." Yeah man!
Totally…I wanna become a rockstar, get all drugged up, marry another druggie
and shoot myself with a shotgun because Cobain did it! In some sick, sad,
dark little area in my head I glorify Cobain for suicide–what a way to go but I
don’t have a shotgun on standby waiting for that final irrational moment that
decides my fate. Drugs, suicide attempts, binge drinking…whatever
alleviates her from her painstaking life, keep it to yourself. Suicide
attempts aren’t a game. Like Jhun would say, "If you’re gonna do it at
least finish the damn job." How insensitive… damn. Oh well.
Wouldn’t it be quicker to take a shower and blow-dry your hair at the same time.
It kills less time [pun intended].
A wrist-slice evokes the idea that suicide lingers in their head and I
understand that people inflict harm on themselves to lighten their load.
However, there is the other classification of people that inflict
make marks that visually communicate the idea that they tried to inflict pain
upon themselves like SAYING they OD’d, showing chicken scratches across their
arms, broken capillaries around their necks and so forth and follow up by hiding
or denying its presence. It’s not a way out when it wasn’t a way out to
begin with. It’s a stupid game. You’re either in the water or you’re
out; sink or swim. You’re treading water when your attempt results to your
hospitalization. Chicken-scratches on the arm is as near to death as
scrapes on elbows.
